I must say, this is actually so close to reality it's kinda scary

The Differential Theory of Special Operations Forces (Snake Model)

Upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO):

Paratrooper: Kills the snake.
Armor: Runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.
Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty . . .Ouch! Hey, that's not a kitty cat."
Infantry (alt): "Ugh! Me see snake. Me like snake. Ouch! Me no like snake."
Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Couldn't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and pink gin.
Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.
Ranger (alt): Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.
SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.
Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive fire mission reminicent of Stalingrad. Mission is considered a success and all participants are awarded Silver Stars. (Cooks, Mechanics, Legal Clerks etc.)
Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost
Combat Medic: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.
Special Operations: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.

As I said, so close to reality, it's kinda scary people. And the Medic's one is spot on, IMHO